princessences | [IC] Inbox @ deerington

yeah keith kinda... hinted at that. sort of. i'm holding out on the idea that because this is a dream, it doesn't fucking matter

[ Oh my god. OoOoOOOoOOOOOH MY GOD. ]

no. i mean you can, i
fuck
i don't know about galrans, but humans can use things to protect themselves from getting pregnant. either by controlling hormones through a pill or shot or by using these little
uh
they're like

... i'll show you a condom sometime, they're hard to explain, but they cover a dude's dick so he can't

god this is why i usually sleep with girls i can't do this

they were exaggerating, you don't actually die. you can just get a lot of diseases if you aren't careful about stuff and pregnancy comes with a high mortality risk. and that's just with human/human stuff holy shit what if it's even worse with a galran dude allura i don't want this to be one of my deaths

can you buy that one

Edited 2019-02-20 01:32 (UTC)

You might be correct, but the experience of...other things is very life-like, so it's best to exhaust all possibilities rather than rely on assumptions.

[ Allura is involved now, so you are seeing this through. Both of you. ]

Oh, you mean contraceptives?

...I see how you could use "birth control" as a phrase for that. Though wouldn't it be more "fertilization control"?

[ Do Humans understand their biology at all? ]

Keith may be a lot of things, but riddled with disease isn't one of them. We did regular health checks and full-body scans while on the Castle. He is exceptionally healthy.

I already have.

:)

[ Please enjoy her emoji use. ]

Edited 2019-02-20 01:35 (UTC)

i hate everything about this

YEAH THAT thank god
some people do call it fertility control, i think a lot of doctors do, but i guess birth control flows better??? idk it was made a long time ago, i just go with the majority, and i didn't even usually need to THINK about it because rachel couldn't exactly get me pregnant anyway

thanks for the reassurance, but since i'm 90% sure i was his first, i was more worried about the "pregnancy mortality" part

god you're the best

[ EVEN WITH THE EMOJI. ]

Edited (my typing skills are lacking today) 2019-02-20 01:41 (UTC)

I am admittedly curious about what those look like on Earth, but I realize now isn't the time.

Let's take this one step at a time. I may be able to help you relax as well.

I am almost at your place.

okay. door's unlocked, so let yourself in, i've made a home on this couch i'm not leaving it

[ As promised, Allura arrives a few minutes later. She knocks on the door to announce her presence but let's herself in immediately after, as Chloe suggests. ]

Chloe?

[ She knocks any residual dirt or snow off her boots and leaves them by the front door because it seems proper, but she appears in her winter coat. She finds Chloe on the couch. ]

I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, but I did find some tests.

[ Of which she presents from a small plastic bag. Five different brands, apparently.

But first thing's first, she pulls out a sparkly horse and hands it to Chloe. ]

And I brought an assistant.

[ Chloe had at least pulled herself up from the position she'd curled herself up on on the couch, looking over the edge as Allura let herself in.

There was almost a word of thanks as she took the small bag, but it's cut short by the sight of the stuffed animal. She fights to keep the amusement off her face for a moment as she takes it, looking it over, before she can't stop the snort. ]

It's even in better in person. Like a 3D Keane painting. [ A beat before the auto-explanation kicks in. ] She was an Earth artist who had a thing for drawing girls with giant fucking eyes.

[ Allura raises her brows at the explanation, her lip forming a small "o". ]

Yes, that would be very appropriate. "Large eyes" seemed to be the trend for all of these. But this one was just too cute to be left behind.

[ She sets down a cloth bag she had around her shoulder as well. ]

This has the chocolates, but I imagine that we will want to wait on those.

He's my spirit animal. I mean uh - besides the... other one, I guess. [ It's easy to forget the ghostly, floating images of a stupid butterfly when everyone else had things that were so cool.

She nods at her words though, going to hug the stuffed animal to her chest absentmindedly as she looks at the bag with the boxes in it.

Ugh. ]

Yeah. Never thought I'd have to do this of all things, but Deerington is always full of surprises.

You received a horse?

[ Yeah, that's another idiom of internet culture that Allura really doesn't understand. Why would she? Her spirit animal is a lion. How fitting.

Chloe does get a sympathetic look at that. Allura starts to take off her coat. ]

I thought we would get the most assurance from performing multiple tests. Do you need any assistance with these?

[ Not that she can help Chloe pee on them... ]

What? [ A beat. OH. ] No, it was a butterfly. [ She really needed to stop and think about why Allura might get confused when she spoke, but instead she just gets confused by her confusion. ]

Pretty sure it's a solo-project. [ A beat. ] But you could like. Wait outside the door or something.

Edited 2019-02-24 02:10 (UTC)

I'm not sure what that is.

[ But she would definitely like it once she did realize. ]

I can certainly do that.

[ She takes a moment to lay her coat on the nearest available chair before standing with her hands clasped together in front of her. ]

Please lead the way.

A butterfly? [ Chloe pauses before she shrugs off her hoodie to show her full tattoo and pushes the tank top strap out of the way so she can point to the butterflies on her shoulder. ] These.

[ She goes to head towards the stairs though, making her way to the bathroom on the second floor and just praying Eddie does not come home anytime soon. Let her luck not be that bad.

She kicks the door closed behind her, letting it stay open just a crack so she can still hear Allura alright though. ]

... This sucks, by the way. I'd be really shitty mom material.

[ Allura blinks, not quite sure where this is going, then--oh! ]

Oh, it's lovely.

[ Whether she means the butterfly, specifically, or the whole tattoo is up to Chloe to decide.

She follows quietly, taking the time to give the house a glance over as they make their way to the upstairs bathroom. She opts to lean against the wall outside, glancing down the hallway. ]

Why do you say that?

Yeah, they've always been one of my favorite animals. [ She clearly assumed she meant the butterfly.

She's quiet at first, focusing her attention on opening the boxes and staring at the instructions like they're written in Greek for a moment. This is all stupidly intimidating, somehow. Her confidence in not being able to get pregnant in a dream is a little shaken in the heat of it. ]

I uh... I can barely take care of myself, let alone a whole other person. I'd fuck a kid up.

[ Allura finds that curious, though she allows a thoughtful silence for fall between them for just a moment. ]

While I believe that should be a decision made carefully, I don't believe that you're being very fair to yourself. Do you not see how your kindness and care has touched others? Eddie? My team?

[ That leaves her quiet for a moment and she takes the awkward silence as a time to turn on the water so it will both help and also muffle any sounds of her peeing, thank you. ]

I've also seen how my extreme fuck ups have hurt people. Angela, Max, Eddie, Lance, K-- [ Mmmm, her throat chokes around his name and she has to close her eyes. ] Keith... The list is pretty long.

[ She doesn't know the extent that Chloe thinks she might have hurt them, but Allura does understand what it means to hurt someone you care about. ]

And yet these are all people who still care about you. Do you believe they care without reason?

[ Well, the fully honest answer of yeah, she does, sounds kind of heartless when she thinks it. Maybe it’s downgrading her friendships, but she also never knows when people really care, or when they pretend to because it’s convenient for them. ]

… I don’t know.

[ Allura exhales slowly out of her nose and turns her gaze up to the ceiling. How does she put this without sounding preachy or patronizing? Allura does know she has a habit of that. ]

I am in no place to tell you how you must conduct yourself, but I do know something of questioning my worthiness in the face of what I believed to be a mistake, or betrayal.

[ To be honest, she wouldn't have thought poorly of Keith at all if he decided he would be better off without her in his life. ]

I am still struggling with accepting forgiveness, but I do not get to decide whether someone forgives me. Those who are wronged make that choice and it is, perhaps, because they feel that the relationship and care is more important than what has happened. Our inability to comprehend the forgiveness speaks more of our inability to forgive ourselves than others. People love you. And even if you may not understand why in your darker moments, to turn that away would certainly be worse.

Is it?

[ She's not sure anymore. Love has led her to those dark places. It's torn her apart over and over without even the relationships that caused it left there at the end of the day to make it worth it. How long would it be before Max left again? Before everyone start to trickle home, like they had at Reims? ]

... This conversation probably further proves why I definitely shouldn't have a kid.

[ A small sigh. ]

You can come in if you want. It's just a waiting game at this point.

It's what I tell myself.

[ Which is probably less reassuring than she intends it to be.

There's a pause before Allura turns around the doorframe, slowly pushing the door fully open before she peeks inside. ]

How long do we wait?

[ She shuts off the running water and is just sitting down on the edge of the bathtub when Allura comes in. Of course, sitting still feels fucking impossible in general, so she can't stop her leg from bouncing and her fingers from fidgeting as she tries. ]

Three minutes. Give or take. This has got to be the longest waiting game of my entire life.

[ Allura nods, taking a seat across from Chloe on the edge of the bathtub. ]

Here, give me your hands.

[ She looks a little confused, but she also apparently can't say no to Allura, so she offers out her hands. ]

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