Princess "HBIC" Allura (
princessences) wrote2018-07-10 09:43 pm
Entry tags:
[IC] Inbox @
deerington

❝ You have reached Allura. I'm sorry to have missed your call, but please leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as possible. ❞
[ deerlyBeloved ]
VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

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it's "horizontal tango" and "opening the gates of mordor"
by the way
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I was close! I panicked.
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8/10, the image of what a mordor tango would look like was a good distraction for a little bit
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[ Even though she's horrified that he has such a...terrible understand of how female Humans work. Goodness. ]
What about this?
[ The attached photo is of some ridiculously big-eyed stuffed animals at the store. ]
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i can't believe he doesn't even know the basics beyond "girls bleed and have mood swings", boys are such morons
LOL Is this supposed to cheer me up, because the idk if it's terrifying or adorable
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[ Okay, now she's a LITTLE annoyed. ]
I'm not sure if that's a reflection on Keith or general education on Earth, but I am very disappointed either way.
[ Boys should learn about where they're going to stick their dicks before they stick it. Geez. ]
They're adorable! Some of theme are even sparkly.
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i mean maybe shit improved in the future, but it might just be earth. i just hoped that dudes would get smart and maybe idk look into it on their own time??? it's not like i didn't look to see how a dick functions after the gym teacher basically told us "if you have sex you'll die so don't do it"
how sparkly
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That being said...I wasn't aware that Humans or Galra could control their birth. Is it inducing labor...?
One would hope that's the standard. Although "have sex and you'll die" seems counterintuitive to the purpose of sex in the first place.
Very sparkly. Pink AND blue at the same time.
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[ Oh my god. OoOoOOOoOOOOOH MY GOD. ]
no. i mean you can, i
fuck
i don't know about galrans, but humans can use things to protect themselves from getting pregnant. either by controlling hormones through a pill or shot or by using these little
uh
they're like
... i'll show you a condom sometime, they're hard to explain, but they cover a dude's dick so he can't
god this is why i usually sleep with girls i can't do this
they were exaggerating, you don't actually die. you can just get a lot of diseases if you aren't careful about stuff and pregnancy comes with a high mortality risk. and that's just with human/human stuff holy shit what if it's even worse with a galran dude allura i don't want this to be one of my deaths
can you buy that one
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[ Allura is involved now, so you are seeing this through. Both of you. ]
Oh, you mean contraceptives?
...I see how you could use "birth control" as a phrase for that. Though wouldn't it be more "fertilization control"?
[ Do Humans understand their biology at all? ]
Keith may be a lot of things, but riddled with disease isn't one of them. We did regular health checks and full-body scans while on the Castle. He is exceptionally healthy.
I already have.
:)
[ Please enjoy her emoji use. ]
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YEAH THAT thank god
some people do call it fertility control, i think a lot of doctors do, but i guess birth control flows better??? idk it was made a long time ago, i just go with the majority, and i didn't even usually need to THINK about it because rachel couldn't exactly get me pregnant anyway
thanks for the reassurance, but since i'm 90% sure i was his first, i was more worried about the "pregnancy mortality" part
god you're the best
[ EVEN WITH THE EMOJI. ]
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Let's take this one step at a time. I may be able to help you relax as well.
I am almost at your place.
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action;
Chloe?
[ She knocks any residual dirt or snow off her boots and leaves them by the front door because it seems proper, but she appears in her winter coat. She finds Chloe on the couch. ]
I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, but I did find some tests.
[ Of which she presents from a small plastic bag. Five different brands, apparently.
But first thing's first, she pulls out a sparkly horse and hands it to Chloe. ]
And I brought an assistant.
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There was almost a word of thanks as she took the small bag, but it's cut short by the sight of the stuffed animal. She fights to keep the amusement off her face for a moment as she takes it, looking it over, before she can't stop the snort. ]
It's even in better in person. Like a 3D Keane painting. [ A beat before the auto-explanation kicks in. ] She was an Earth artist who had a thing for drawing girls with giant fucking eyes.
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Yes, that would be very appropriate. "Large eyes" seemed to be the trend for all of these. But this one was just too cute to be left behind.
[ She sets down a cloth bag she had around her shoulder as well. ]
This has the chocolates, but I imagine that we will want to wait on those.
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She nods at her words though, going to hug the stuffed animal to her chest absentmindedly as she looks at the bag with the boxes in it.
Ugh. ]
Yeah. Never thought I'd have to do this of all things, but Deerington is always full of surprises.
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[ Yeah, that's another idiom of internet culture that Allura really doesn't understand. Why would she? Her spirit animal is a lion. How fitting.
Chloe does get a sympathetic look at that. Allura starts to take off her coat. ]
I thought we would get the most assurance from performing multiple tests. Do you need any assistance with these?
[ Not that she can help Chloe pee on them... ]
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Pretty sure it's a solo-project. [ A beat. ] But you could like. Wait outside the door or something.
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[ But she would definitely like it once she did realize. ]
I can certainly do that.
[ She takes a moment to lay her coat on the nearest available chair before standing with her hands clasped together in front of her. ]
Please lead the way.
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[ She goes to head towards the stairs though, making her way to the bathroom on the second floor and just praying Eddie does not come home anytime soon. Let her luck not be that bad.
She kicks the door closed behind her, letting it stay open just a crack so she can still hear Allura alright though. ]
... This sucks, by the way. I'd be really shitty mom material.
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Oh, it's lovely.
[ Whether she means the butterfly, specifically, or the whole tattoo is up to Chloe to decide.
She follows quietly, taking the time to give the house a glance over as they make their way to the upstairs bathroom. She opts to lean against the wall outside, glancing down the hallway. ]
Why do you say that?
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She's quiet at first, focusing her attention on opening the boxes and staring at the instructions like they're written in Greek for a moment. This is all stupidly intimidating, somehow. Her confidence in not being able to get pregnant in a dream is a little shaken in the heat of it. ]
I uh... I can barely take care of myself, let alone a whole other person. I'd fuck a kid up.
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While I believe that should be a decision made carefully, I don't believe that you're being very fair to yourself. Do you not see how your kindness and care has touched others? Eddie? My team?
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I've also seen how my extreme fuck ups have hurt people. Angela, Max, Eddie, Lance, K-- [ Mmmm, her throat chokes around his name and she has to close her eyes. ] Keith... The list is pretty long.
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