princessences | [IC] Inbox @ deerington

[ The thought gives Allura pause. The name "Zarkon" has forever been burned into her mind as the enemy, something to defeat and something that's taken everything she loved and held dear away from her. No one would blame her for that, she feels.

But Allura knows there was a time when it was not so. He had been her father's close and trusted friend. He had been worthy of the Black Lion at the time.

She doesn't like thinking of him in that sense any longer. He's gone now, thanks to Shiro and Lotor. But his being gone doesn't bring Altea back. ]

...

[ She finally looks up from the picture and back at Shiro. ]

I am sorry that I didn't tell you who the original Black Paladin was. It's true that I wanted you to form your own bond with your Lion unhindered by the past, but there is also a part that was simply ashamed. That the history of Voltron was not so valiant.

[ The mice look up at Allura, then at each other, a little sadly. ]

I am likely biased, but even back then, I don't believe there's much you could have learned from him. You are a better man, Shiro.

[He might have been angry, annoyed, at first. Upset. But he trusts her. And it's not a matter of her distrusting him -- when she puts it like that, he can understand it. He can get it. Get where she's coming from. That's... also not what he was hoping to get from this conversation, for either of them. Her smile should be there, not this regret.]

I'm not angry. [A shake of his head. His shoulder pressed to hers.] I might have been... at first. But I can understand where you're coming from.

[Neither of them have to like it. It is what it is.]

I hope I never make you question that. [Like he hopes he'll never break Chloe's trust. Like he never would have questioned before their time in the mist. Her admissions to him there are still ringing in his head.] I want to live up to it... I want to stay worthy of what you want me to be. Who you think I can be.

Be great -- as much as you are.

[ A semblance of her smile returns as she leans into him, pressing the weight of her shoulder back against his. It's gotten much easier to accept his support and take his word for what it is, even if she thinks that she owes more than an apology. They did agree to do their best with that. ]

You have not only met every expectation I had of you, but exceeded them regularly.

[ She pulls the blankets closer around herself as the mice start to retreat back into that warmth, but not before patting his arm. ]

You are already more than worthy. As frustrating as this place can be and as much as I dislike being taken away from the mission we have set before us, I am confident that the legacy we leave behind--this Voltron will be the one that changed the universe for the better.

That's me... always got to break the record.

[Even if it's his own, apparently. Or that of some unknown person, paladin, he's never met.]

[He'd been wearing his coat inside, but now shrugs out of it, pausing to pull his own photo out. He sets it to one side before putting the fabric around her shoulders. It's not much, but it's something more.]

At least with the others here, it might be easier to find a way out again. More minds thinking it through. More people we already know we can depend on. [A nod.] I think we already have. In some ways.

[ The gesture he makes is very kind. His coat is not only warm, but big enough to fit over her even with all the blankets she has on. ]

Oh, Shiro--I don't want you to be cold.

[ She definitely doesn't want him to be more uncomfortable on her account. ]

I certainly hope so. Though, as we've said many times before, we don't want to see our friends and loved ones to be forced into these circumstances, their help and input is invaluable, as always.

I'm okay. Really. I don't get as cold as you do.

[And it's not just his usual 'I'm Fine', either. It's not that cold in here for him. He doesn't mind it.]

Yeah. I had a similar conversation about it, with Justine. It's hard -- we miss them, we wish we could see them. But the last thing we want is for them to be here.

If you're certain...

[ She knows that, but really, he can't find it to be that much more manageable...right? (Is she just a wuss?) ]

Yes, precisely. The fact that we continue to collect familiar faces is a little unsettling, though...what are the odds that out of all the potential lives in our universe, we continue to see our friends?

[ They're slim. Incredibly slim. ]

Yeah, I am. Maybe we can add a fireplace while we're putting the house back together.

[For her sake. Krolia doesn't seem to mind the cold either, but... maybe that could change. Maybe they all need it.]

Honestly? They're not great. But on the other hand, if we have to see people from our universe?

I'd rather they were friends.

[The dull ache from the snowmen attacks still throbs in his side, for example.]

Can we? That would be lovely. And we wouldn't have to pay for electricity to heat the house, either.

[ She understands what it's like to have to earn a paycheck and pay bills now. ]

...Yes. I agree.

[ If Zarokn--the actual Zarkon--were to show up, Allura isn't sure how she would handle it. They are at such a disadvantage in this place. But then again, Zarkon would be too. Or the Witch. ]

And I am grateful for every one of you.

[ There is a round of squeaks of agreement from inside the blanket. ]

We'll talk to the others. See if it's something they're interested in. Otherwise, maybe we can use more of those heat packs -- or get a lot more rice socks.

[Since she'd liked those so much before.]

So am I.

[If he'd been stuck here alone. Or stuck here with one of their enemies, he's not sure what he would have done. How he would have been able to handle this place. If at all.]

You too, guys. [Directed at the blanket.]

Yes--I like both of those very much.

[ Chuchule peaks her little pink head from underneath the blanket long enough to twitch her ears, before disappearing again.

Allura gets a little more comfortable on the couch, pulling her legs up onto the cushions and underneath the protection of the blanket as well. ]

This isn't the first time you've had to take care of me here. I feel that our relationship is becoming unbalanced.

We can definitely get you some rice bags. I think there's still some in the kitchen.

[And those, he knows, he can reheat without catching the microwave on fire. He smiles, briefly, for the little mouse face -- waggling a fingertip at her before Chuchule disappears again.]

[A laugh.]

You're not from this kind of climate. I'm sure I'll be out of my element somewhere down the road. Don't worry.

It would be wise to keep some on hand as well. I imagine it will only get colder.

[ Not just for her, too. Like if half the house got mysteriously sick. ]

Even so...thank you. You've done more than just helping me stay warm. Like when we dealt with that ridiculous snow incarnation of Zarkon and--

[ ...Hm. Speaking of "out of his element". She's been avoiding bringing it up for a while now, but unlike the carnival, it's a little more difficult to pretend that nothing happened at the club. ]

--...actually, I should use this opportunity to apologize as well.

It probably will. Sit tight, I'll go grab some now.

[He's about to stand up, about to go and grab the rice bags. But stops, as she continues, watching her face.]

Allura, you're my friend. You're one of my best friends. Did you really think I wouldn't? That'd... be like expecting me not to have a pulse, honestly.

[Hey he's a disaster, but at least he knows it.]

Apologize?

[ The oven had set them back a little--they are decidedly more expensive than Allura had been anticipating--but it was the right thing to do. That poor bakery didn't deserve the wrath of Snorkon anymore than anyone else.

But she can blame Snorkon's actions on...well, Snorkon. Her actions are her own. ]

Yes.

[ She sighs before looking up at him. ]

For my...actions when we went to that dance with Chloe.

[Maybe he should have picked a job with more stability. The school didn't seem to run as often as he'd thought -- but they'd be okay. At least they didn't need to pay for food or rent...]

[He pushes a hand through his hair, wondering where this was going.]

For your -- [Oh.]

[Oh that.]

[His face colors. And he drags his hands down it.] That... a lot happened there. I don't know how much any of us could control.

[She has nothing to apologize for, in his book.]

[ Yes, a lot happened. Much before and so much after. That night was a whiplash of emotions, but she had not crossed that line with anyone else. She is grateful for that, of course, but she does trust Shiro implicitly, but it still stands to be said.

She shakes her head. ]

Something was definitely amiss, however it does not change what happened. And...I am fond of you, Shiro. You are my best friend. And while at this point it may not be an issue, I still do want to be honest with you. And I do not want something to have a...negative impact on our friendship. I apologize if this is just coming off terribly...

Edited 2019-01-17 06:44 (UTC)

It's not, and it doesn't.

[His answer is automatic. Firm, and absolutely honest. It's not coming off wrong, or badly. It doesn't change anything. Not to him. It's what she says in the midst of it all that makes sure of that. You are my best friend.]

[That's still an honor. It's something he wouldn't dare throw away.]

[So he takes her hands, through the blanket if he has to. Something to make sure she knows how serious he is. This isn't meant to just appease her. This is really how he feels.]

Nothing is going to change how much I care about you. How important you are to me. Not this, not anything.

When I say you don't need to apologize, that's why. [A squeeze of her hands. His head tilting slightly, to look her in the eye.] It happened, it wasn't either of our faults, and we still care about each other.

That's all I need.

[ His assertion that it's fine is as much as she expects of him, but it's when he takes her hands that she raises her gaze back to his once again. Whatever worry she still has--and the awkwardness of having to discuss this in the first plcae--dissipates slowly as he speaks.

She finds herself smiling and squeezes his hands in return. ]

Thank you, Shiro.

[ So she leans forward, pressing her forehead against his for a moment in silent solidarity. When she speaks again, her voice is a little quieter. ]

In some part of my heart I knew, but hearing you say that makes all the difference.

[Really, he needs to stop using that phrase. One of these days, it's going to be banned from his vocabulary. But not now. Now is for assuring here there aren't any hard feelings. How could there be? With everything they've been through together, with all their promises to each other... it's not possible to be angry.]

[Or even resentful.]

[One of his hands lifts off hers, cupping her face. His thumb running just under her cheekbone.]

You never need to thank me -- remember? Not for anything. [He shifts, in an echo of what she'd done in their shared dreamscape, in the moment she'd murmured "you found me". It's nothing to press a brief kiss to her forehead. Returning the favor.]

Then I guess I should say it more often.

[ Her smile lightens fondly at that. Yes, they have promised many things to keep them both afloat, especially when they did not have so many of their friends and teammates around. As selfish as it may feel, she is glad to have them, but Shiro has been there since she arrived in this strange place. Her journey in Deerington would doubtlessly be very different without his support.

The gesture doesn't make her flush like it might have at the club. Instead she takes it as it is--sweet and comforting and it warms her heart. Allura lets out a huff of a sigh. ]

I'll allow it, if at least we can replace one of your other catch phrases.

[It had been painfully lonely when he first got here. He hadn't realized how much until the day he saw her again. Until they were back in each others' lives. She's always been dependable, always been at his side -- and vice versa. He'd do anything for her.]

[And she did it in return.]

Don't take "form Voltron". I'm just getting used to how it sounds.

[Oh he knows what she probably means. But this is lighter. Easier to say aloud.]

[ It is, certainly. And Allura is glad to let the conversation go in that direction. She laughs lightly and shakes her head. ]

I am too glad to let you keep that honor.

You don't think we should give it to Hunk?

[It's an old joke between them all. How their teammate desperately wanted to be the Head. But in his beloved Yellow.]

That would "make his day", wouldn't it?

[ She does remember how eager he had been to "form the head", but to be fair, all the Paladins had been struggling in the beginning. Even Shiro, though he arguably picked it up faster than anyone else. In no small part because of his dedication to the position. And that is precisely why he was chosen for it.

No, fated for it. ]

But he performs admirably as a leg. And you give excellent head.

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