princessences | [IC] Inbox @ deerington

Right. Like another lifetime ago.

[He's on board with everything she says there. He knows it's true. He knows they have to take risks here. It's the only way they'll get anywhere.]

[But --]

No. You put me in charge. If anything happens, it's my responsibility

I put you in charge of Voltron, but this mission came from me, Shiro. We'll need someone to make sure that Pidge leaves unharmed, should it come to it.

[ And he must realize she will be willing to throw him into the escape pod a second time. ]

And you're just as capable of doing that as I am. We I don't want to see you hold the line again, because I couldn't.

[Yeah, he knows. And it still stings. Even after time has passed.]

This isn't about capability. I know that you're more than capable of holding the line.

I'm taking responsibility for the decision to investigate. You would do the same if you had devised this plan, wouldn't you?

Yes.

[He would. He absolutely would. But... after all that's happened here. All they've come through in so many months. He doesn't know if he could sit by and let it happen again.]

[He's still got to drive back to the house. So he lets the reply sit. One word. Focusing on the bike and keeping it steady enough not to jostle him.]

[ The one word is enough for Allura to garner that he understands, he just doesn't like it. Well, whether he likes it or not, that's how it is. She's also not someone to be told what to do when she thinks otherwise. This is one of those times.

When Shiro gets home, Allura can be found in the large living room area. There isn't much there at the moment other than the couch they took from the apartment, but that's where she's sitting, bundled up in two blankets as she reads a book. ]

[The bike's motor is probably audible as he pulls up. Pausing outside long enough to carefully tap the snow off his boots. One hand tucked up under his coat, pressed against his side for a few heartbeats. Breathe. Steady.]

[Maybe they need a fireplace, or a portable heater. Even he's a little chilled as he steps inside.]

You look freezing.

[ She does hear it--it would be difficult to miss even if she didn't have heightened hearing abilities. The mice are all cuddled up with her as well, but Chuchule makes an effort to pop out from underneath the warmth of the blanket to squeak at Shiro in greeting.

Despite their text conversation, Allura offers a small smile. ]

I am.

[ She puts a bookmark in place and sets it down on the coffee table before pulling the blankets more tightly around her. ]

But I'm making good use of the hand warmers you gave me. I have about ten on me right now.

[ Literally on her. Under her shirt. Like armor. ]

[Chuchule's ears get a little scratch as he approaches. Using his real hand, which is, hopefully, warmer than the metal one, which he's got tucked up under his jacket. Ostensibly to warm it up... rather than, you know. Hold onto the ache in his side.]

I'm sorry there's not more we can do...

[He sits on the edge of the couch. Pulling an ornament out of a pocket and holding it out to her.]

I know you wanted to see the photo, but -- figured I should hand this to you, first. [In case it broke.]

[ Chuchule is happy to receive the attention, but doesn't hesitate to scurry back under the blankets as soon as she can. It is much warmer in there, after all. Allura shakes her head. ]

I've been managing. You have helped.

[ Two sets of blankets, a sweater, warm velvety work-out pants and fluffy socks in slippers are doing what they can. At least the tip of her nose and ears isn't red anymore.

She straightens as he sits, trying to keep the tension out of her face.]

...Yes.

[ Allura accepts the ornament and turns it over slowly in her hands. Almost immediately she feels an overwhelming sense of...comfort. Of happiness. Allura knows better than to trust those feelings in this place, but relief immediately follows--terror and despair have been so common place in waves, that a break from it is a welcome change. Of course, the last time she had a break from it she indulged a little too much.

That's still to be discussed.

At the moment, she's too enraptured by the ornament and holds it close to her heart with a smile.

And then suddenly squeezes it. The glass shatters and the mice all give a muffled squeak of surprise beneath the blankets. Small shattered pieces litter now Allura and the couch, but she ignores them in lieu of what is clear in her hands. ]

Oh...

[ A picture from her past, one that Allura would have never seen on her own. ]

Mother...Father.

[If he could get her some kind of heated coat, he would. There are heated blankets, but he's not sure if they exist in this world. Maybe some more heat pads out of bags of rice...]

[But that's of secondary concern. Once she accepts the ornament into her hands. He sits a little closer, waiting. Sure, he hadn't gotten anything nasty out of his, but who knows? Maybe the city won't be as kind to her. Or... maybe it will. He chews his lip, watching her face.]

[As before, it breaks. As before, it leaves a photo in its wake. And her reaction makes something close around his heart.]

... Is that... you?

[That's probably the gentlest thing he can say about the photo. Not how much she looks like her mother. Or how happy they all look. How much her father looks better, like that. With his family. Not with the weight of the world on his shoulders, as the image in his AI had.]

[ Allura nods gently, unable to tear her eyes away from the photo. That it exists at all...here, in this place should not be as much of a surprise as it is. ]

I was too young to remember this...but...this is clearly a recreation of what actually happened.

[ Platt and Chuchule stick their noses out to see what's going on, and the other two follow shortly after. Chulatt even puts her little paw on the picture. ]

The helm was a gift, back when Altea and Daibazaal were allies and friends.

[ She's hesitant to, but eventually she looks up and offers the photo to Shiro, if he would like a closer look. ]

I had it in my room for many years.

[He almost doesn't want to take it, when she offers. As if touching it is going to hurt it somehow. But... it's important to her. That he does. Otherwise she wouldn't hold it out.]

[When he does take it, it's carefully. Holding the edges of the photo. Studying the faces in it. Listening to her words. This is the world she should have kept, he thinks. Where a helmet is a gift for a baby. Where she has a blood family. Has an entire world... a people...]

You look a lot like your mother. [It's a lame response, but an earnest one. How do you put the rest of what's going through his head into words?] I... wish I could have met them.

[ Allura's expression falters just a little, a little sadder but still fond, keeping an eye on the photo even as Shiro analyzes it. ]

I've been told that before, as I'm sure you can imagine.

[ She takes it as a compliment, even though when she was much younger Allura had stomped her food and demanded to be an individual.

At his comment, Allura lifts her gaze to Shiro's face and then reaches out from the depths of her blankets to put a hand on his shoulder. ]

They would have adored you. I know my farther in particular would have been very proud of the job you've done.

Yeah, I can. Probably wasn't easy, huh?

[That's the general consensus he's heard from people, about their families. He has the team, for his own. The Holts, in a way. So hearsay's about all he's got.]

[He keeps his eyes on the photo. Studying it, as if trying to memorize what he sees. The way they all look so happy together. Wondering, distantly, how it could have gone so wrong for them. It just... wasn't fair.]

[Her hand on his shoulder pulls him out of that line of thought.]

Thank you. [He feels like he should say more. But all he can do is reach up and grip her hand in return.] That -- that means a lot. More than I can say.

Mmm...well, my mother was always hailed as being beautiful, but that really did not matter much to a very young and very stubborn child. Most little girls would have wanted nothing more than to dress up like their mother, but I had erroneously conflated that to meaning that I couldn't follow in my father's footsteps instead.

[ Allura shakes her head at her own naivety. The logic of children isn't always as sensible, but then again, some people simply aren't sensible to begin with. Allura likes to believe she's grown out of that.

She squeezes his hand back with a small, but warming smile. ]

I like to believe the Paladins of old would look fondly on our team now...

That's hard for a kid to understand. Any kid. Especially younger ones. At least for human kids... I know we tend to feel like we've got to be more like one parent than another.

[It's kind of nice to hear these things about her. About her past. It can't be all that easy for her to talk about often, so when she does share, it feels like a gift. Something to hold onto.]

[A weak laugh of his own.]

Most of them, right?

[ She may be a princess and she may be from another planet, but she's really no different than the rest of them. His understanding is appreciated and her smile brightens a little. ]

Indeed. It's a silly thought, isn't it?

[ Allura sighs, then nods. ]

Yes, though...perhaps there was a time when even he would have felt that way.

[ Her gaze drops to the picture and her smile falls with it. ]

That helmet was a gift from Zarkon, after all.

Not at the time it isn't, I don't think. Maybe I'm wrong, but... everything seems bigger when you're a kid.

[Literally and figuratively.]

[He goes quiet, too, studying the image. It really does look like something Galra. Maybe not anything recent. But the colors are... similar enough to make the connection.]

Yeah. Maybe back then. [Maybe back before everything had gone so wrong for them.] I almost wish I could have... I don't know. Seen him. Known him.

[Almost -- or maybe that would make the fight harder.]

[ The thought gives Allura pause. The name "Zarkon" has forever been burned into her mind as the enemy, something to defeat and something that's taken everything she loved and held dear away from her. No one would blame her for that, she feels.

But Allura knows there was a time when it was not so. He had been her father's close and trusted friend. He had been worthy of the Black Lion at the time.

She doesn't like thinking of him in that sense any longer. He's gone now, thanks to Shiro and Lotor. But his being gone doesn't bring Altea back. ]

...

[ She finally looks up from the picture and back at Shiro. ]

I am sorry that I didn't tell you who the original Black Paladin was. It's true that I wanted you to form your own bond with your Lion unhindered by the past, but there is also a part that was simply ashamed. That the history of Voltron was not so valiant.

[ The mice look up at Allura, then at each other, a little sadly. ]

I am likely biased, but even back then, I don't believe there's much you could have learned from him. You are a better man, Shiro.

[He might have been angry, annoyed, at first. Upset. But he trusts her. And it's not a matter of her distrusting him -- when she puts it like that, he can understand it. He can get it. Get where she's coming from. That's... also not what he was hoping to get from this conversation, for either of them. Her smile should be there, not this regret.]

I'm not angry. [A shake of his head. His shoulder pressed to hers.] I might have been... at first. But I can understand where you're coming from.

[Neither of them have to like it. It is what it is.]

I hope I never make you question that. [Like he hopes he'll never break Chloe's trust. Like he never would have questioned before their time in the mist. Her admissions to him there are still ringing in his head.] I want to live up to it... I want to stay worthy of what you want me to be. Who you think I can be.

Be great -- as much as you are.

[ A semblance of her smile returns as she leans into him, pressing the weight of her shoulder back against his. It's gotten much easier to accept his support and take his word for what it is, even if she thinks that she owes more than an apology. They did agree to do their best with that. ]

You have not only met every expectation I had of you, but exceeded them regularly.

[ She pulls the blankets closer around herself as the mice start to retreat back into that warmth, but not before patting his arm. ]

You are already more than worthy. As frustrating as this place can be and as much as I dislike being taken away from the mission we have set before us, I am confident that the legacy we leave behind--this Voltron will be the one that changed the universe for the better.

That's me... always got to break the record.

[Even if it's his own, apparently. Or that of some unknown person, paladin, he's never met.]

[He'd been wearing his coat inside, but now shrugs out of it, pausing to pull his own photo out. He sets it to one side before putting the fabric around her shoulders. It's not much, but it's something more.]

At least with the others here, it might be easier to find a way out again. More minds thinking it through. More people we already know we can depend on. [A nod.] I think we already have. In some ways.

[ The gesture he makes is very kind. His coat is not only warm, but big enough to fit over her even with all the blankets she has on. ]

Oh, Shiro--I don't want you to be cold.

[ She definitely doesn't want him to be more uncomfortable on her account. ]

I certainly hope so. Though, as we've said many times before, we don't want to see our friends and loved ones to be forced into these circumstances, their help and input is invaluable, as always.

I'm okay. Really. I don't get as cold as you do.

[And it's not just his usual 'I'm Fine', either. It's not that cold in here for him. He doesn't mind it.]

Yeah. I had a similar conversation about it, with Justine. It's hard -- we miss them, we wish we could see them. But the last thing we want is for them to be here.

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